BlogHer Friends Giveaway: And the Winner is…..

Since I only had 6 comments, I realized that I had the option of doing something fun, like use a die to randomly determine the winner. I thought it would be cute and different. Everyone uses the random number generator. So I spent much of Saturday morning searching through every game box I could find in our apartment. Would you believe we have not a single pair of dice in our apartment? We don’t. And we have lots of board games. As a very related aside, why can’t any board game designers actually develop a game that uses a simple pair of dice anymore?

Then I thought I would buy a pair of dice, but I never got around to doing that. And then I thought, in typical Zahra fashion, I would create my own random number generator that was really pretty and fancy-looking. They are after all really super easy to create if you know even a little Javascript or any other scripting language. It’s basically about 3 lines of code. And, as I was having this conversation in my head I realized, “Wow, Zahra, you will do anything to make even the simplest task more complicated, huh?”

It’s true. I will. So, random.org random number generator it is. And without further ado….

The winner would be comment #3, or the lovely Marcie. It’s fortuitous that 3 was the random number, because it’s also my favorite number. So much so that I even chose 03/03/03 as my wedding date. Seriously.

Anyways, Marcie wrote the following comment:

Hey Zahra,
Your blog looks great! It was such a nice surprise to see you at BlogHer– wish we’d run into each other sooner instead of the last thing at the last day! I’m really shy, too, and was intimidated by so many strangers and packs of bloggers who all knew each other and had parties to go to.
One thing to know about Baltimore– you do not want to hang out around UB after dark!

So, Marcie, shoot me an email at zahra@roeandstuff.com with your mailing address, and I’ll be sending you a Washington D.C.-themed care package.

But of course this also gives me the opportunity to make another observation about BlogHer (will the musings never end? Probably not.).

Running into Marcie was one of those uniquely BlogHer moments. See, I think everyone knows blogging is one of those things that helps people make new connections with people they would have never met otherwise. We’ve all certainly had our share of those experiences. One of the best moments of BlogHer for me, however, was running into Marcie, a former classmate of mine from grad school.

I expected to meet new people, but I didn’t expect to reconnect with people I already knew. And when I did, when I ran into and chatted with Marcie in the very last hour of BlogHer (literally — it was at the closing keynote), I realized that so many people we encounter in life have more in common with us than we think. That if I make the effort and find the guts to get over my shyness and really talk to people, I will find that my life can be full of rich and meaningful connections. I think my life is full of meaning, but many times I feel like it is devoid of connections. I now know that the connections are there. I just need to pay attention to them and most importantly, cultivate them.

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zahra, August 23rd 2010 | Tags: , , ,
Posted in Categorizable Rantings

Giveaway: New Friends Put a Smile on My Face*

While I was really inspired at BlogHer, I have yet to write a recap. To be honest, I’m not sure I will write a recap. I’ve never really been good at writing reviews or descriptions of things I’ve eaten or seen or attended. It’s just not a strength I can claim.

What I can do is write lists. I’ve been making lists since childhood. It helps me force order on the chaos that always seems to surround me, and it makes the insurmountable seem manageable. I am known by any who’ve worked with me for walking around with a notebook and obsessively writing and maintaining checklists. If I can check something off a list I know I am moving forward. People poke fun, but this is my secret for getting insanely large amounts of work done quickly and efficiently.

But I really digress. Back to the topic at hand. I present to you my first, very short BlogHer recap list. I will add to this list in the coming days as I think of more, but for now….

Bloggy Networking 101: I am a wallflower, but I actually do very well in a purely business networking situation. The problem I have when it comes to blog-related networking is that it isn’t purely business. It has a largely social component — it is “social media” after all — and I can’t seem to get past that. Thus I seem to fall back on my introverted tendencies when it comes to meeting other bloggers and potential readers. I attended a session on marketing your blog by Taryn Pisaneschi, and she said something that really stuck with me: Find the other person in the room who looks just as shy and awkward as you do and introduce yourself to them. I did this within the hour, and it works. If you are an introvert, try this the next time you’re in a big room full of people.

Healthy Conference Eating: I’ve traveled a lot for my day career, and every time I’ve attended a conference I’ve always returned home a little heavier. Conference food is not healthy. There are a million coffee breaks with giant trays of cookies and brownies, the lunches are laden with oil, the breakfasts are 90% butter, and who normally eats dessert with lunch? No one. That is why most of us don’t gain 5 pounds a day. The BlogHer swag bag came with a water bottle, and every room had lots of water. I therefore drank a lot of water, and you know what? I ate exactly one cookie the entire weekend. And I ate no dessert with lunch, and I had fruit and yogurt for breakfast. Add in all the walking, and I didn’t gain any weight. It can be done. And if possible at a conference, it is certainly possible at home.

Old Friends, New Friends: I’ve made no secrets about my difficulty in making friends. It’s part introverted nature and part childhood trauma. I tried to get above this at BlogHer. I wouldn’t say I was wildly successful, but I was successful. I made some new friends, and I reconnected with old friends. I put myself out there just a little, and it not only didn’t kill me, but it was kind of nice. I ran into an old classmate from grad school, an old coworker, an old friend from Baltimore. I made  new friends from the midwest, the Pacific Northwest, Canada. I look forward to building more connections with all of these people and to making new friendships with people in their community of readers. And this is my focus today.

I’ve never done a giveaway before, but I want to express my gratitude and a giveaway is the only way I can think of to do this. So here are the rules, people, and I’m trying to make this as broad as possible to include as many people as possible.

If I met you through BlogHer — whether you stumbled across one of my tweets, I met you in person, or you were doing HomeHer and you somehow found me through the BlogHer online activity — write a comment. If I didn’t meet you through BlogHer, but you followed it a little bit, write a comment. In that comment:

  1. Let me know something about yourself and a lesson you learned from BlogHer.
  2. Let me know where you are from and a little interesting fact about your hometown.
  3. Do this before 11:59pm on Friday, August 20th.

Your comment will enter you in a drawing for a Washington, D.C. care package. I was born and raised in the D.C. area, and I love my hometown. I’d like to share some of that love with one of you.

* If you’re a Yo Gabba Gabba fan, or live with a Yo Gabba Gabba fan, you probably recognize this little song lyric. I couldn’t help myself. It is no secret that I love Yo Gabba Gabba, and “Friends” is by far my favorite episode. It stars Jack Black after all. He watches flowers with Foofa and has a party in his tummy with Brobee.

8 Comments

zahra, August 14th 2010 | Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Categorizable Rantings, Family + Friends

Always Crunch Time

Today was my first day back at work after BlogHer. It sucked.

I returned from BlogHer with renewed ambitions for this little blog of mine. I was inspired by the many amazing women I met, by the conversations I had, by the sessions I attended, the presentations I heard. I was teeming with ideas, and I had the best of intentions to get started on them right away.

Then life got in the way. Actually, work got in the way. Actually, I meant both, since lately my life is work. And I hate this. This time of year is typically crunch time in the business I’m in. The problem is that it is never not crunch time for me. I can’t remember the last time I came home and did not have to immediately open my laptop and get right back to work. And I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t still working 5 hours later, well after Azita has gone to bed and I’ve missed any chance of spending any quality time with her when she’s awake.

If it was just a couple weeks or even a month or even two months out of the year, I’d be fine with this. But it’s not. And I miss my daughter. And I can’t think.

I don’t just have writer’s block. I have designer’s block. I have student’s block. I have exerciser’s block. I have every kind of block there is when it comes to the other parts of my life that make my life worth living.

All these ideas are bottled up inside me, and I can’t get around to even thinking about them until the clock strikes “6 hours before I have to get up again.” It’s always crunch time — 24/7, 52 weeks a year — and I’m tired of it.

The worst part is that I have no idea how to make this better. Anyone know the secret? If you do, please share. I’m desperate, and these dark circles under my eyes are out of control.

2 Comments

zahra, August 10th 2010 | Tags: , ,
Posted in Categorizable Rantings

Khanoom Manners

Maybe it’s my Iranian upbringing, but I am obsessed with good manners. Namely I spend a good deal of time and thought making sure that at the end of my life I will always be known as a good host and a polite guest. It’s important to me, as it is to most Iranians. Like many Eastern cultures good manners for Iranians are a bit ritualistic. The Japanese have their tea ceremony, the Chinese have their special handshakes, and Iranians have taarof. We also place great importance on making our guests feel at home and in not inconveniencing our hosts when we are guests ourselves.

So I am always more than a little nonplussed when entertaining guests who are, well, let’s just say very non-Iranian.

I’d be sure it was a cultural difference, but how would one then explain Miss Manners? Or the fact that Roger, who’s about as American as one can be, places as much importance on good manners as I do?

Maybe our parents and grandparents’ generations are right, and the country is going to hell in a hand basket. I have faith that we can do better. And while I’m no Miss Manners, I’m pretty sure in the near future you will be seeing the occasional post on proper etiquette in different cultures.

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zahra, July 28th 2010 | Tags: , ,
Posted in Categorizable Rantings

Ignore It and It Will Go Away

I’m still pondering the topic of weight, everyone. Still. I know. You’re thinking, “Wait. When did she ever stop. That’s all she talks about. Blah blah blah.” Whatevs. Just hear me out.

Recently, actually maybe a year ago, someone told me a story about a woman. A woman who had a weight problem. And the person who told me the story said something like this: “She is always dieting and exercising and watching her calories. And she won’t eat anything with sugar or carbs. And she’s still fat. I think this just goes to show you that if you think about your weight all the time, you will only gain weight. If people could just not think about it, everyone would be thin and healthy.”

Now the woman who told me this story is skinny. Naturally skinny. At any dinner I’ve been to with her, she eats twice as much as I do. And she drinks lots of wine and has dessert and appetizers. And her idea of exercising is to go for a walk, and not even a really brisk one or long one at that. And with all that, she was a size 2. When pregnant even.

I’ve covered how much I exercise and restrict my calories. It sucks because I’ve had to do this my whole life. Ok, maybe not the first 5 years, but I’m not exaggerating when I say I’ve been on a diet since I was 5 years old. Still, this is the hand I’ve been dealt, and I make a point of trying to make the best of it. At least having to always eat right and focus on healthy eating and exercise habits means that I will never be shocked when I hit 40 (in only three years, people!) and all of a sudden can’t stay skinny while subsisting on fast food. Or when I realize I’m a size 2 with shockingly high cholesterol. None of that will ever happen to me.

I’m just saying, I’m not complaining.

But, I am annoyed. One year later, I’m still annoyed. Because I hate (and I did mean to use that strong of a word) people who are naturally skinny and who think that those who aren’t just need to do what they do to be like them. Not thinking about food or exercise will not make me lose weight. And neither will going for a 30 minute walk every day. Nor will eating turkey or fish. Or any of the other ideas imparted onto me by those who don’t have this problem. And anyways, who ever said I want to be like these people.

I realize that there are some people who are fat, and they are fat because they have bad habits. But it’s really none of my business how they got fat. Nor is it my place to tell them how to lose the weight. That is between them and their doctor.

It just galls me when people think all fat people are fat because they are lazy and have no self-control. And I swear that if I hear another ludicrous weight loss suggestion from someone wearing size 2 pants, I’m going to kick them in the shins and run away.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

2 Comments

zahra, March 3rd 2010 | Tags: , ,
Posted in Categorizable Rantings, Food + Fitness

Olympic Observations

Every couple years I say I’m going to watch the Olympics, and I never do. This year I’ve actually been watching the Games.I guess if there was a year I was actually going to watch this would be it. I’m particularly interested in the Winter Games more so than Summer since the only sport I really participated in as a child was figure skating. And then there’s the fact that between work and taking care of a baby I don’t really get out much on weekdays. Thus sitting on the couch and watching some winter sports while I work seems like a reasonable way to pass the time until I sleep, wake up and repeat.

So, here are some observations after a few days of watching:

  • I really don’t like cocky athletes. Apolo Ohno, Yevgeny Plushenko, Chazz Michael Michaels (ok I had to slip that little haha in). There is something really annoying about someone who’s good at something and not only knows it but feels the need to shove it down the world’s throat. It’s just so unattractive. And have you noticed that cocky athletes always have annoying hair? Apolo Ohno has that irritating facial hair and Plushenko has his mullet. I know that’s hardly a large enough sample on which to base a hypothesis, but I just know I’m right here.
  • Conversely, modesty makes a great athlete very likable. Shani Davis, for example. You just want him to win because he’s not only modest, but he credits his mother for getting him where he is. Even though he’s one of the hardest working athletes out there. Notice that he does not have annoying hair. In fact, his hair is very much not annoying. You’re starting to agree with my hypothesis aren’t you?
  • NBC’s coverage of the games consists mostly of former Olympic athletes discussing current Olympic athletes with sportscasters. If I fast-forward through all the talking head parts of the coverage, I can actually watch four hours of NBC’s coverage in about an hour.
  • Everybody loves curling. It’s the brooming. Yes I know it’s called “sweeping” instead of “brooming.” Roger already teases me mercilessly about this. So let’s move on.
  • The Winter Olympics is turning into the Winter X Games. Snowcross, the half pipe, those moguls with the crazy jumps. And then there’s the curling. Talk about extreme.
  • Back to NBC’s coverage. I think “NBC” stands for “Nuisances, Blows and Calamities.” I know shock value gets viewers, but is it really necessary to show the poor luger’s gruesome and fatal accident over and over and over? I feel bad for the guy’s family. And then there’s everyone else who is coming back from some misfortune. If it’s been caught on video, it will be replayed 5,376 times a night.
  • Finally, I get it. Shaun White has his own secret half pipe in an isolated area of Colorado. News flash, NBC. It’s not such a big secret anymore, is it?

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zahra, February 17th 2010 | Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in Categorizable Rantings

How Times Have Changed…or Not

Every Christmas season Roger and I make our way through our extensive collection of holiday movies starting on Thanksgiving Day. Included in our collection is a possibly little-known movie starring Fred Astaire and Bing Crosby — Holiday Inn. This is the movie in which Bing Crosby debuted one of his classic and perhaps most famous songs, “White Christmas.” It’s also a movie in which Bing and his costar, the lovely Marjorie Reynolds, perform a musical and dance number in blackface.

Yup. Bing Crosby. In blackface. Offensive to say the least. Every time I watch the movie I’m utterly shocked that a major Hollywood studio actually deemed this an acceptable scene to include in a movie.

No doubt this is why the movie is not so popular, and rightly so.

The thing is times don’t really change. A couple decades after Holiday Inn was released, Breakfast at Tiffany’s hit the theaters. It is arguably one of Audrey Hepburn’s most well-known movies. When you think Audrey Hepburn, you think Holly Golightly, right? But what many people don’t think about when they think of Breakfast at Tiffany’s is Mickey Rooney’s portrayal of Mr. Yanioshi in yellowface.

Yup. Mickey Rooney. In yellowface.

Do you sense a pattern here? Hollywood just doesn’t get it, do they?

So, it’s been a while since a movie has been put out with an overtly offensive, stereotypical depiction of an ethnicity, but I can’t say times have changed too much. Not too long ago Roger and I were watching Sixteen Candles, and we noticed that Samantha Baker’s parents refer to her older sister’s fiance as the “oily bohunk.”

What is a “bohunk” we wondered? Wikipedia to the rescue. It turns out that “bohunk” is an ethnic slur for people of Eastern European descent.

Wh-wh-wh-what? Really?

Granted that Sixteen Candles was released over 20 years ago, but one would think such overt racism would not find its way into a John Hughes movie.

Times have changed somewhat. I don’t think we’d see a movie with such overtly racist language or depictions, but Hollywood does seem to rely on stereotypes. Jar Jar Binks, anyone?

As an Iranian-American, I am certainly sensitive to the stereotypical portrayal of Middle Easterners as religious zealots and terrorists. Then there’s the standard Central or South American character — an illegal immigrant/day laborer who is or borders on being a criminal. And what about Native Americans? The entertainment industry seems to think they are all casino-owning alcoholics.

I don’t really have a  real solution here, but I do think that maybe if we tackle the beast that is Disney we may start to effect some change in this situation. Think about it. Disney attempts to embrace cultural diversity by putting out movies that are rife with stereotypical depictions of non-Anglo characters, from Princess Jasmine to Pocahontas to the hyenas in The Lion King (it’s true. look it up).

I guess what I’m saying is “Down with Disney!” Taking Disney down or at last stopping them from putting out racially stereotypical drivel might not undo the offensive works put out by the industry in the past, but maybe tackling the entertainment we put in front of our children now would mean 20 years down the line Hollywood will finally change for real.

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zahra, February 16th 2010 | Tags: , , ,
Posted in Categorizable Rantings

Lost Days Recap

Since February is the shortest month of the year, lots of people participate in NaBloPoMo. After all, how hard can it be to blog for 28 days? Well, it’s been hard for me. As you may or may not have noticed, I’ve been missing for a few days. I don’t really have any excuse other than life has gotten me down and is kicking me as I lay groaning and partially unconscious. So, to get back into the swing of things I shall start with a recap of the lost days in February.

It all started with Snoverkill, the cleverly-monikered snowstorm that hit our already snow-beleaguered area. We were prepared. As we had already shoveled out our car during Snowmaggedon, we didn’t have much more snow to remove after Snoverkill. So, at least the snow didn’t put too much of a damper on things — other than rendering us devoid of childcare when we were both swamped at work. Still, we made it work with minimal stress, and Azita seemed to like hanging out with us.

Then my computer froze. And it wouldn’t restart. This is not only my personal computer, but I use this computer for work as well. I work for a startup so we try to save money wherever we can, so a few of us use our personal laptops for company business. This means that I was stuck at home in a blizzard with no childcare and a truckload of work to finish and no computer with which to finish said work.

Just in case my stress levels weren’t rising enough I spent quite possibly the worst two hours of my life on the phone with Dell support. I already wrote about this. But then the rest of the week happened. We trudged in to the office the next day to pick up a laptop for me. Azita is usually very well-behaved when she comes in with me to the office, but Thursday was definitely an exception. She wouldn’t stop playing in my trash can, and it took everything I had to keep her away from the power outlets. Then there was banging on my keyboard and ripping up all the papers on my desk and chewing on my pens and slamming my office door. Public transportation kind of sucked that day also, so we spent an hour and half scaling mountains of snow on the uncleared sidewalks and then waiting and waiting and waiting some more for the metro…each way. Yup. That means we commuted 3 hours total just to pick up a laptop.

Oh, and I’ve been sick. And suffering from insomnia. And Azita’s been sick, so even if I didn’t have insomnia her night-long coughing would keep me up all night.

Then Dell replaced my motherboard, and my laptop still didn’t work. And then I gave up on Dell after a few more hours wasted getting to know their support staff, so I headed out to the local Geek Squad. Turns out my laptop’s memory is bad. So, I replaced the memory — both DIMMs — and my laptop still didn’t work. It gets better. Geek Squad is authorized to service every model of Dell laptop except for my specific model of laptop. That means I have to deal with Dell again, which makes me want to projectile vomit my soul across the room.

Did I mention that I have no backup copies of anything on that laptop, including every picture and video ever taken of Azita? So, I shelled out another large sum to have the contents of my hard drive retrieved.

Then this morning happened. In spite of my ill health, I decided to workout. Actually I thought it would make me feel better. As I went in for my final leap before the cool down, I heard and felt a pop in my calf muscle. And that’s how I came to spend the morning at the orthopedic surgeon’s office. It’s also why I am now unable to do any real exercise other than ride a stationary bike or do some upper body strength training for the next 3-6 weeks.

Life is truly sucking right now. So I haven’t written anything in 4 days. I just couldn’t deal, and there’s also the laptop issue. I don’t have access to my photos. But I’ll get over it. I mean, even if I’m limping through life both literally and figuratively, at least I’m moving.

p.s. Today, Azita said “red” and she also recently started playing keep away with Roger and me.

p.p.s I really, really want to go to Churchill, Manitoba, the Polar Bear capital of the world.

1 Comment

zahra, February 15th 2010 | Tags: , , ,
Posted in Categorizable Rantings

Blizzards Outside and In

Round 2 of Snowmaggedon hit the D.C. metropolitan area today. As I write this the snow is finally slowing down but the wind is still swirling viciously, howling, blowing the snow and ice around so it smashes into everything in its path. Inside our home today wasn’t much better.

Azita has been sick — coughing and wheezing and struggling for breath. It is more and more seeming that she has asthma. The worst part is that she fights her inhaler, and we’ve had to hold her down just to give her a few breaths off her inhaler a couple times a day lately. It is especially bad at night, so we have been pretty sleep-deprived for the past several days. By this morning we were exhausted and looking at starting a long day.

Things only got worse. About 3 hours into my day my laptop froze and wouldn’t start back up. I spent an hour and half on the phone with Dell support trying to fix the issue. This call included a nerve-wracking half hour that involved me removing my laptop keyboard and reseating my laptop’s memory. By the end of the call I was dripping sweat, and my breathing was shallow. I’m pretty sure I  was inches away from a stroke. And it turns out the issue is not fixable today.

A brand new motherboard is on its way, but I spent the day working on a 7-year old iBook that hasn’t been turned on in over a year. So, work went slowly. And it was stressful. And maybe it’s the storm, but our internet connection has been dragging

It’s as if the blizzard has made its way into our home and is swirling everything about. My hope is that a good night’s sleep will actually happen and that it will make everything better. And in the morning, we get ready for an adventure as Roger and I try to make it to our offices with Azita.

Th-th-th-th-that’s all folks.

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zahra, February 10th 2010 | Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Categorizable Rantings

Say Cheese

Let’s talk about photos, specifically photos others take of you. There tend to be two types of people when it comes to picture-taking: the person who never takes pictures and the person who never goes anywhere without a camera. My family and friends tend to be the latter. Thus, I tend to get my picture taken a lot, especially now that I have a baby.There’s something about babies that makes everyone want to take pictures, and since I am usually holding or hovering around said baby, I’ve been ending up in lots of pictures lately.

Here’s the thing. I don’t like to have my picture taken. I’m just so self-conscious, and it really shows in a picture. I look awkward and uncomfortable and unattractice. Plus don’t forget that a camera always adds 30 pounds. What? You say, it only adds 10 pounds? Well, I choose to believe that it adds 30 pounds. Because I look that horrible in pictures. Usually. Actually, I look horrible in pictures usually when certain people are taking the pictures.

Now I’m not going to mention any names here, but some of my family and friends have cameras that make me look like an aging, ugly hog. I think they try to capture every time my belly hangs below my shirt or my back fat bulges under my shirt or my mouth is gaping open as I get ready to eat a spoonful of food. If I’m smiling in a way that makes my cheeks wrinkle, it’s photographed. If my shirt is covered in baby vomit, it’s in a picture. In other words, every one of my most unattractive moments seems to have been captured for posterity.

And, even better, they are posted on Facebook. And tagged, so everyone I know will see them.

It’s bad enough I look like that. Does the whole world really need to see it?

I don’t really have a point. I just wanted to vent, so that’s all I have to say about that. We’ll now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

1 Comment

zahra, February 4th 2010 | Tags: , , ,
Posted in Categorizable Rantings
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