Kabobs & Apple Pie

Roger and Azita are both napping, which leaves me hanging out alone on the couch with a sleeping baby on my lap mindlessly flipping through channels. There is nothing on t.v. on a Saturday morning. Probably because most people are out and about. I’d like to be out and about, but my entire family is napping (even the cats). So, this is how I ended up watching a History Channel show on hot dogs. And that is how I learned that the Oscar Mayer weiner jingle is so popular that not only has it been the longest used jingle for any product, but people actually used to call radio stations and request that they play it.

Wh-wh-wh-what?

Talk about kissing the hand that is trying to force feed you. This isn’t entirely shocking to me, I guess. I remember when I was a kid, people used to sing that McDonalds jingle that was basically a somewhat musical rendition of their menu. I remember it was also one of the most popular double-dutch rhymes on the blacktop. I’ll admit that I participated in said recitation of the commercial jingle many times, but I LOVED DOUBLE-DUTCH. I had to if I wanted to participate.

I know, I know. Would I jump off a bridge if every else did? Well, actually, I might jump off a bridge if everyone else did. If it looked fun, I would. And double-dutch is fun, so I jumped off the bridge. OKAY? Cut me a little slack. I was 8.

But here’s what I wouldn’t do.  I would never, ever, even if my life depended on it call a radio station and request that they play the jingle for a commercial product. That’s where I draw the line.

I mean, I worked in advertising for two of the most mind-numbing years of my working life, and I can tell you that those people don’t need the American people to inflate their egos any more. Their heads will burst.

So if you ever get the urge to call a radio station and request that they play the Alka-Seltzer jingle or the NFL something or another theme song. STOP. Think of the ad men and their heads. Only you can save them from spontaneous cranial combustion.

This is a public service announcement brought to you by the Council for the Abolition of Corporate Asskissing (CACA).

p.s. I’m talking a big game here, because let’s face it I’ll do what it takes (except for selling my body) to earn a paycheck and put a roof over my and my family’s heads. I just won’t enjoy it. So there.