Let’s talk about photos, specifically photos others take of you. There tend to be two types of people when it comes to picture-taking: the person who never takes pictures and the person who never goes anywhere without a camera. My family and friends tend to be the latter. Thus, I tend to get my picture taken a lot, especially now that I have a baby.There’s something about babies that makes everyone want to take pictures, and since I am usually holding or hovering around said baby, I’ve been ending up in lots of pictures lately.
Here’s the thing. I don’t like to have my picture taken. I’m just so self-conscious, and it really shows in a picture. I look awkward and uncomfortable and unattractice. Plus don’t forget that a camera always adds 30 pounds. What? You say, it only adds 10 pounds? Well, I choose to believe that it adds 30 pounds. Because I look that horrible in pictures. Usually. Actually, I look horrible in pictures usually when certain people are taking the pictures.
Now I’m not going to mention any names here, but some of my family and friends have cameras that make me look like an aging, ugly hog. I think they try to capture every time my belly hangs below my shirt or my back fat bulges under my shirt or my mouth is gaping open as I get ready to eat a spoonful of food. If I’m smiling in a way that makes my cheeks wrinkle, it’s photographed. If my shirt is covered in baby vomit, it’s in a picture. In other words, every one of my most unattractive moments seems to have been captured for posterity.
And, even better, they are posted on Facebook. And tagged, so everyone I know will see them.
It’s bad enough I look like that. Does the whole world really need to see it?
I don’t really have a point. I just wanted to vent, so that’s all I have to say about that. We’ll now return to your regularly scheduled programming.